Fatty Fat Fat

Holy crap people, it is time to talk about something important.

I was in my CTA (Company Training Area), and I watched a middle-aged woman pull into the parking lot, walk to the loading dock, and climb six stairs to get to the dining facility entrance. When she got to the top of the stairs, she had to stop to catch her breath. After six stairs. That was a day or two ago, and I haven't been able to let it go. I am having some emotional trauma because of that fat lady. What the hell is happening in our country?

I read an article in the Army Times that says if we were to have a draft, like for World War III, 60% of our fighting age young men would be too obese to enter the basic training program. What does that say about us as a country? What does that say about the parents in America? Has it become insurmountably difficult to make our kids get out of the house and play some sports? I didn't play any sports in high school, but I had a job that kept me in shape. Do kids not have jobs? Does nothing motivate us as Americans to better ourselves?

I guess in today's "gimme, gimme, GIMME!" society, the concept of earning our place in the world by the sweat of our brow has fallen by the wayside. Thank God for the technology that makes us a world power. If we didn't have that, our obese country would be overrun in months.

There. I said it. America is fat. And so's your FACE.

New Year's Resolution

I know it's a little late to be posting a blog on New Year's Resolutions, but I didn't really know what blogging WAS until last week or so. I have an excuse.

Let me start out by saying that the whole tradition of even HAVING new years resolutions can be pretty depressing:

STEP 1: Evaluate all resolutions from last year

STEP 2: Realize that I have fulfilled about 10% of them (on a good year)

STEP 3: Identify all the things I don't like about myself

STEP 4: Resolve to change them by the end of next year

Last year was a good year. I had one resolution, and nailed it. I resolved to make it home to my family. Not bad. THIS year, I'm raising the bar a bit. I resolved to:

1) Quit smoking
2) Be a better husband and father
3) Learn how to play guitar

That doesn't seem like much, but let's take this into consideration... I have been smoking for about four years. While in Afghanistan, I would sometimes smoke like two packs a day! That is a powerful habit to kick. My second resolution is more important to me than the first one. I feel like I suck as a hubby and daddy. I'm never home, always grumpy when I AM home, and spend a lot of time alone, not playing with my kids or being with my wife.

I put down "learn how to play guitar" because I don't know how... and I want to.

I'll try and update my status on this blog from time to time. Maybe I'll be better at it if I'm accountable to someone.


My resolutions for this year are many-fold.

My Jeep

Anyone who knows me fairly well is aware of my Jeep obsession. Since I couldn't think of anything else to write about, you (the unfortunate reader) get to hear the heart-wrenching tale of AMC vehicle restoration.



Ah, where to begin... Probably at the beginning. That's as good a place as any.



It all began about eight or nine years ago. I was a young, bright eyed man with a pocketful of dreams. I was looking around at old vehicles on collector car trader online, and there it was. A 1955 Willys M38A1. The same jeep that guy from MASH mailed home one piece at a time. I was in love, and $800 later the beast was mine.



I think I lucked out on that jeep. It needed a new wiring harness, and the clutch needed to be reassembled, but all the parts were there and I was able to get it running with absolutely no mechanical experience whatsoever. Ah, the times I had with that jeep. It was awesome. The only thing is, I don't have any pictures of it. I was too poor to afford a camera, a painter, or someone to chisel the scenes of off road bliss on a stone wall for posterity. But I digest.

I ended up having to sell the jeep. There were two reasons for this: 1) I broke it and didn't know how to fix it, and 2) I had no money to buy a wedding ring for Amanda. It was marryin' season, and you have to have jewelry to make that happen. So I got rid of it. It was like selling one of my children (which I tried to do recently when I ran short of money, and it's WAY illegal). Anyways, I made Amanda aware of my nuptual sacrifice, and put forth the following proposal:

The Derek Wamsley / Amanda Judd Prenuptual Agreement

Derek gets to buy a CJ-5 in the future and has carte blanche to spend as much as he wants to restore it to his standards.

That was pretty much it. And trust me, it has cost me PLENTY to get that rusty tub o' turds built up into the ripsnortin' testosteronemobile that it is today. I'll be writing the biography of Hogan II in blogs to follow.

Blahg...

Heh, although I'm sure someone else has thought of that title, I'm still pretty amused with myself...

OK. I have been meaning to get into the world of writing for a long time. I like reading so much, I figure it's time to start vomiting up my own ideas on a public forum... I was so motivated- setting up the account, coming up with a semi-clever nom-de-plume, etc. But now that I am all set to blog, I have no idea what to write. I've had that problem since the beginning of time. I have been talking about writing a book for years, but I can never seem to get a good enough idea going. Meh.

Anywho, I'll see what I can do later.